Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Melancholy Baby

Today I can look back on last night and laugh. But at the time, it wasn't very funny.

I'd had a great day, writing wise. Got lots done, met my goal, knew where I was heading with the next chapter. The going was tough in that last chapter, but I pressed on and won through.

About the time my husband got home from work, I started feeling flat and listless. (Now, I know what you're thinking, and it isn't true. His coming home had nothing to do with it. I love my DH to death and he's wonderful.) But I couldn't shake this feeling of heaviness in my heart.

I went to my bedroom and had some alone time, pondering, wondering. The longer I lay there staring at the ceiling, the more morose I became.

I decided to take drastic measures. It was time for a long soak in the tub.

It occured to me about halfway through my bath...I was sad because my characters were at odds with one another. In fact, he broke her heart! She stormed out, unable to think or breathe, and though he chased after her, she wouldn't listen to his explanations. Oh, if only she would've listened. If only he hadn't said that. Those poor people, so in love and so miserable!

Are writers silly or what? I can only hope some of my own pathos of the situation is translated into a reader's heart someday.


  1. Those raw emotions make the story and characters real for the reader. The reader then becomes part of the story. She should have said this. He should have done that. It's what keeps the pages turning.

  2. At least they are imaginary characters and you can write the perfect chapter tomorrow and MAKE her listen!

    Are writers silly? You'd probably have to ask someone with an unbiased opinion that question! I'm going to take the fifth!

  3. Love it! Can't wait to read it for myself!

  4. I so understand!!! Been there. I try so hard to leave my writing in a good place, even if it just starting to write the scene after the big fight, or whatever else horrible happened. It really does affect you!!!

  5. I know exactly what you mean! When I wrote Meredith's panic attack a week or so ago, I experienced all of the physical sensations I was putting on the page, I was so deep inside of her.

    One of the things that's been really weird for me in writing a character with social anxiety disorder is that by tapping into my own introversion, I think I've lost some of the progress I've made over the last fifteen years of conquering my own mild social anxiety. Making myself get up and go to church on Sundays, for example, has been hard--I've been a member for about a year, but other than the altos in the choir and my small Sunday school class, I really don't know a lot of people. Rather than strike out and meet new people, as I did for the first six months, I've found myself slipping in just as service starts and getting out at the end of service just as quickly. I know it's silly, but now I can't seem to shake it! Blessedly, I have some wonderful people there who've been calling to check in on me, such as the choir director, and I have a great group of people praying for me and supporting me in this rough emotional patch.