Friday, June 01, 2007

The Friday Five

Today's Friday Five is:
Five things guaranteed to make me laugh in church:
1) My husband when he leans over and says something funny in my ear. (No one believes me that he's the culprit, but he is!)
2) When a small child gets free of his parents and runs maverick across the platform during the sermon. (It has happened twice.)
3) When an infant, dressed to the teeth in frilly dress, lacy tights, patent leather shoes, hair froo froos, and looking sweeter than a rose, passes gas (like a stevedore!) in the middle of communion.
4) When someone in the choir sings an inadvertant solo.
5) When the guitarist drops his guitar during prayer.
No disrespect is inteneded, just a little lighthearted fun. All these things have happened in our church. It's a really fun place.


  1. ROFL! The image of the froo froo baby making a joyful noise unto the Lord has me rolling in the aisle.

  2. I think it's funnier when they practically stand on their heads to admire the ruffles on their behinds--in front of the congregation.

  3. We don't have a children's sermon every week, but when we do, something cute usually happens. Of course, in the choir loft, we're stealing glances at the TV monitors (we're not supposed to "stare" at them--yes, our service is televised...on the local station formerly known as Pax or UPN, one or the other).

    Watching someone get the nods--you know fall asleep, jerk awake, fall asleep...Or, even better, at my previous church, I occasionally sat beside a man who not only fell asleep but SNORED during the sermon.

    When someone drops a metal offering plate on a tile floor.

    Deacons, choir members, SS director, and choir director for the last six weeks pretending to be Simon, Paula, Randy, Ryan, and a progression of increasingly comic "contestants" in skits to set up the pastor's sermons on "American Idols"--things that we put in God's place as idols in our lives.

  4. Forgot to mention . . . I sat next to the guy who snored IN THE CHOIR.

  5. okay, I'd have laughed out loud at that, Kaye. What did you do? Jab him with your elbow? Hide behind your hymnal???

  6. That's funny! Do you go to a formal church? I have to admit--no one dresses up at our church, and all the kids are "free," especially mine, LOL.

  7. The sad thing/funny thing, I think all of these have happened at our church, haven't they, Erica? I remember the Sunday with the baby making joyful noises... I thought I was going to have to leave the pulpit in mid-sermon and "lay hands on the Vetsch family." Of course, it's hilarious that it's just one family who seems to have their kids running across the platform during a message... one during a particularly moving, stirring moment, in the ser-vice (Grady Nutt voice put into full gear here)... I coulda had an altar call at that very moment and had half the church up there... and there's little E***, strolling across the front, looking all around to see who sees him (especially if Mom sees him - "Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah!")

  8. G-, I don't know how formal you'd say it was. It's definitely more relaxed than the church I grew up in, but it's still quite structured. I wear pants to church (the first time I did, I could swear I smelled ozone preceeding the lightning strike) but some ladies dress more formally.

    And Kevin, yup, all these things have happened at Cornerstone in the seven years we've gone there. And E*** def. had an unholy gleam in his eye as he surveyed the congregation, laughing and grinning, from the platform. He stole your thunder that day.

  9. hi Erica,

    I am Tricia Goyer's (CFBA) assistant. Would you be interested in joining the blog tour for Tricia's new non-fiction book for teens, My Life, Unscripted?

    "Drawing on Biblical principles, My Life, Unscripted guides girls through the tumultuous teen years by teaching them to have a plan of attack before temptation or hardship come".

    Tricia would love your help spreading the word about this unique and much needed teen resource. It's great for church youth groups, book clubs or other teen groups and organizations.

    Thanks for your time,

    Amy Lathrop